johnpaulsen

never stop telling your story

May I Tell her Who’s Calling?

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Before email.
Before cell phones.
Before texting “u up?” at midnight.

There was this.

A quarter in your pocket. A number memorized. A line you hoped wasn’t busy.

We didn’t have unlimited access to each other. We had moments. You waited your turn. You listened to the dial tone like it meant something. You stretched every minute because long distance wasn’t cheap and neither was time.

And sometimes… you just stayed on the line.

That home line…ahhh I don’t miss it but that feeling would hit hard these days. Not talking. Just breathing. Hoping the other person wouldn’t hang up. Falling asleep with the receiver pressed to your ear because somehow that felt like being next to them.

We didn’t have constant connection.
We had intentional connection.

And maybe that’s why it felt so big.

Lack of Sleep, or Something Else?

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I’ve noticed something as I’ve gotten older… I wake up early.
Sometimes really early. Like 2 or 3 in the morning.

Most nights I can fall back asleep, but it takes a while. And honestly, I think it’s just how I’m wired now. I’m usually in bed by 9, asleep by 10, and my body seems pretty content running on 5 or 6 hours.

For a long time, I kind of hated it.
Lying there in the dark, doing the math on how much sleep I wasn’t getting.

But this morning shifted something.

I got up, went to grab some breakfast, and out of nowhere I was taken back to one of the best memories of my childhood.

My grandfather worked for the telephone company.
When I’d stay with them in the summers, he would always ask me one thing before bed…

“If I get a page tonight, you want me to wake you up and go with me?”

It was never a maybe. It was always yes.

And every once in a while, at 2 or 3 in the morning, he’d tap me on the shoulder.
We’d get in his truck, and head out into a world that felt completely different.

No traffic.
No noise.
Just empty roads and quiet streets.

He showed me that if you hit the speed limit just right, you could catch every green light all the way across town. East side to downtown without stopping once.

At that age, it felt like magic.

And now, thinking back on it… it still does.

So this morning, instead of being annoyed that I was awake, I had a different thought.

Maybe this isn’t a disruption.
Maybe it’s an invitation.

From now on, when I wake up at 2 or 3 in the morning, I’m going to think of it this way…

My grandfather just got a page.
And he’s asking me if I want to go with him.

And the answer will always be yes.

Embracing Both Celebrations: How Pride Month and Men’s Mental Health Month Complement Each Other

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June is a month of vibrant celebrations and important reflections. It is recognized both as Pride Month and Men’s Mental Health Month, two observances that, at first glance, might seem unrelated or even in conflict. However, as a father and an advocate for mental health and inclusivity, I see them as complementary. They present an opportunity to foster acceptance, understanding, and pride in our families and ourselves.

The Importance of Pride Month

Pride Month is a time to honor the LGBTQ+ community, celebrating their identity, achievements, and the ongoing fight for equality. It’s a period filled with parades, events, and advocacy aimed at increasing visibility and fostering acceptance. For many LGBTQ+ individuals, Pride Month represents a chance to live openly and authentically, free from discrimination and prejudice.

Men’s Mental Health Month: Shining a Light on Men’s Well-being

Simultaneously, June is Men’s Mental Health Month, dedicated to raising awareness about the mental health challenges faced by men. This observance aims to break down the stigma surrounding men’s mental health, encouraging open conversations and support. It’s a crucial initiative, given that societal expectations often pressure men to suppress their emotions, leading to detrimental effects on their mental health.

Potential Conflicts: Acknowledging the Tensions

Some people argue that having these two observances in the same month creates a conflict. They worry that the attention given to Pride Month might overshadow Men’s Mental Health Month, or vice versa. Others might feel that these causes cater to different groups with distinct issues, making it challenging to address both simultaneously.

Finding Harmony: Complementary Goals

However, as a father and a supporter of both movements, I see a beautiful harmony between Pride Month and Men’s Mental Health Month. Here’s why:

  1. Promoting Acceptance and Authenticity: Both observances emphasize the importance of acceptance and authenticity. Pride Month encourages people to embrace their true selves and live openly, while Men’s Mental Health Month advocates for men to express their emotions and seek help when needed. Together, they foster an environment where individuals feel supported to be who they are.
  2. Supporting Our Children: As fathers, it’s our job to be proud of our children, their accomplishments, the good they do in the world, and who they have become. Whether our children identify as LGBTQ+ or face mental health challenges (or both), it’s our role to support them unconditionally. Celebrating both Pride and Men’s Mental Health Month reinforces the message that our love and support are unwavering.
  3. Breaking Down Stigmas: Both movements work towards breaking down harmful stigmas. Pride Month challenges the discrimination faced by the LGBTQ+ community, while Men’s Mental Health Month tackles the stigma surrounding men’s emotional well-being. By addressing these issues together, we promote a more inclusive and understanding society.
  4. Creating Safe Spaces: Both observances aim to create safe spaces for vulnerable individuals. Whether it’s providing a platform for LGBTQ+ voices or creating a supportive environment for men to discuss their mental health, the end goal is a world where everyone feels safe, valued, and heard.

A Father’s Perspective

From my perspective as a father, these observances are not just important; they are interconnected. Teaching our children to be proud of who they are and to care for their mental health goes hand in hand. By celebrating both Pride Month and Men’s Mental Health Month, we set a powerful example for our children: that they are loved, supported, and encouraged to be their authentic selves.

This June, let’s embrace the opportunity to celebrate diversity and promote mental well-being. Let’s show our children that we are proud of them not just for their achievements, but for their courage to be themselves. In doing so, we not only honor the spirit of both observances but also pave the way for a more inclusive and compassionate future.

Happy Pride Month and Men’s Mental Health Month to all. Let’s continue to support, celebrate, and stand proud together.

A Tribute to Jeff Guidry

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Earlier this week, my uncle Jeff Guidry was taken off life support. Technically, he was my dad’s youngest sister’s husband—but in my life, he filled the role of an older brother, a guide, and, as I’m realizing more and more, a model for the kind of man I still strive to be.

We didn’t see each other often—my family in Colorado, his in Texas—but the moments we did share left a lasting impact. Jeff raised two incredible sons, about a decade ahead of my own boys, and now that my kids are grown, I find myself replaying the conversations we had. His wisdom—often simple, always sincere—didn’t always land with me back then. But now? Now I see it clearly. The way he balanced strength and gentleness. The way he made people feel heard. The way he showed up for others, especially those with disabilities, not out of obligation, but out of deep compassion.

Jeff was a painter, a teacher, and one of the kindest souls you could ever meet. He lived with purpose, gave with an open heart, and was loved by everyone lucky enough to know him.

Rest easy, Jeff. Your lessons live on. I hope to carry them forward—with kindness, humility, and grace.

Why Buying a New Pressure Washer for Father’s Day is Just Like Getting Your Wife a Vacuum Cleaner for Mother’s Day

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Father’s Day is a time to celebrate the dads in our lives, showing appreciation for all they do. Often, finding the perfect gift can be challenging. This year, consider a new pressure washer for your husband or dad. But let’s pause for a moment and reflect: is giving a pressure washer to a man similar to giving a vacuum cleaner to a woman on Mother’s Day? Here’s a look at why this comparison might resonate and why it also opens up a deeper conversation about gift-giving and appreciation.

The Functional Gift Dilemma

Similar Intentions, Different Receptions

1. Utility Over Indulgence:

• Both a pressure washer and a vacuum cleaner are practical gifts. They’re tools that make household chores more manageable, efficient, and even enjoyable. However, they serve functional purposes rather than indulging in personal desires or hobbies.

2. Reinforcing Traditional Roles:

• Gifting a pressure washer to a dad may reinforce the stereotype of men handling outdoor chores, just as a vacuum cleaner reinforces traditional views of women managing indoor cleaning. These gifts, while helpful, can subtly endorse gendered roles within the household.

The Emotional Aspect of Gift-Giving

Practicality vs. Personal Touch

1. Message of Appreciation:

• While practical gifts show thoughtfulness and a desire to make life easier, they might not always convey the deep appreciation and personal connection that more sentimental or indulgent gifts do. Like a vacuum, a pressure washer might be seen as a nod to what someone does rather than who they are.

2. Personal Interests:

• Consider whether the gift aligns with the recipient’s interests and hobbies. For example, if your dad enjoys gardening, a pressure washer could be considered a thoughtful tool to enhance his hobby. Similarly, a vacuum cleaner might be appreciated by someone who takes pride in maintaining a clean home. Still, if not chosen carefully, it can also be seen as lacking a personal touch.

Breaking the Stereotypes

Meaningful Alternatives

1. Shared Experiences:

• Instead of focusing solely on practical gifts, consider giving experiences. A family outing, a day of relaxation, or a hobby-related experience can create lasting memories and show appreciation in a more personal way.

2. Personalized Gifts:

• Think about what truly makes your dad or husband happy. Personalized gifts that reflect their unique interests and passions can convey deeper thoughtfulness and appreciation.

Conclusion

While a pressure washer for Father’s Day can be a practical and thoughtful gift, it’s important to consider the underlying messages it might send. Just as a vacuum cleaner for Mother’s Day can be seen as reinforcing traditional roles, a pressure washer can do the same for men. Balancing practicality with personal touch ensures that your gift serves a functional purpose and celebrates the individual for who they are, not just what they do.

Ultimately, the best gifts come from the heart, showing genuine appreciation and understanding of the recipient’s personality, interests, and desires. Whether you choose a pressure washer or something entirely different, remember that the thought and effort you put into selecting the gift are what truly matter. Your gift is a reflection of your relationship and the love and appreciation you have for the recipient, and that is what makes it truly special.

PS: I would dig…and want a new pressure washer; the one I have is over 25 years old.

Gentleman’s Ride: Beyond the Elegant Attire

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As we reflect on Sunday’s annual Gentleman’s Ride, we must remember the core purpose behind this gathering of distinguished individuals. Beyond the dapper suits and stylish motorcycles lies a profound initiative that aims to raise awareness for two crucial issues affecting men’s health: prostate cancer and suicide prevention.

This event serves as a platform to emphasize the importance of early screening for prostate cancer and to shed light on mental health challenges faced by men.

Each year, the Gentleman’s Ride’s fundraising efforts make a significant difference in supporting prostate cancer research and mental health programs. Your participation or donation will directly contribute to initiatives that save lives and provide essential resources for those in need.

By joining us, you became a part of the solution, helping to break the stigma surrounding men’s health and encouraging open conversations about well-being and support.

Together, we can make a difference. Your role in spreading the message of hope and awareness is crucial.

We rode for a cause that transcends the boundaries of fashion and camaraderie.

📷 – @manny_pandya

📷 – @kr.digitalmedia

📷 – @bendalltherules

📷 – @thegratefulbiker